.for.mama.

Lisa, I'm sorry in advance for this post as it's going to cause a tear or two to fall. Although, I had a rather large (and much needed, I might add) meltdown when I heard this song tonight for the very first time. Hopefully, I've met my breakdown quota for the week, but it inspired me to write something about her. I guess it's my release.....

This song is the complete picture of the relationship I had with my mama. It's amazing! I just love Taylor Swift! She's such a great writer. She took the words straight from my heart. I wish mama could hear this song b/c she would LOVE it too - for it's special meaning...she really liked Taylor's music too.

I don't know how to fully explain this relationship - the one my mama and I shared. Truly, the only person who could ever truly understand (other than God, himself) is Lisa - she had the same type of relationship with her. Actually, I take that back...I know a mother/daughter bond is very special for most girls and I think a lot of girls would relate to how I felt/feel about my mama. Taylor Swift obviously feels the same way about her mom. =)

My mama was more than a mother to me...she was my best friend. She gave the best advise and the best hugs. We'd never leave each other or hang up the phone without an "I love you."

No matter what was going on in my life, I could tell mama about it and would instantly feel better. The simple act of hearing her say, "don't worry" or "it'll work out" made my world feel safe and secure. Forget the fact that her words were encouraging, just her knowing about a problem or issue made me feel better...it's ok b/c mama knows about it.

In her presence, I felt like the most important person in the world - the most loved person in the world. She would always tell me how much she loved me and how proud she was...she would even bring it up in general conversion..."Jenn, I'm just sooo proud of you!" or "one day you'll understand a mother's love."

She would cry at the thought of losing me or Lisa. She would cry if Lisa and I were going on a trip together b/c the thought of losing one - even worse, BOTH, of us was unbearable for her.

She worried about us driving in the rain and called if the weather was getting bad to make sure we "were watching the weather."

She was genuinely interested in every aspect of our lives...what we did that day, how our friends were doing, what did we wear today, any juicy gossip? =) We use to sit up and have late night talks about guys, friends, our future and life.

She gave the best advise and had a laugh that was contagious - you just couldn't help but to smile when she laughed.

She always asked us to make sure we were nice to everyone...."you never know when you're going to be that girl sitting alone at the lunch table with no friends" - you should always be a friend, especially to those who seem like they are alone.

She loved the CD Lisa and I made for her - a Mother's Day gift.

You'd never catch mama without a cute outfit, her hair fixed, or bright lipstick..."you never know who you're going to run into that you haven't seen in a while."

Her favorite color was pink...girlie girls we are thanks to her.

She loved nice looking cars...a Corvette was her "dream" car. Her dad (Pawpaw) was into cars and motorcycles, so she grew up appreciating them and could name the make/model of old, vintage cars spot on. This was her one and only non-girlie aspect. =)

Shopping was our favorite past time...I absolutely loved shopping with her. It wasn't even about the shopping - it was about hanging out with her. She LOVED watching us pick out stuff - I can just hear her now..."Isn't that darling?!!". I look around my house now and most every single decoration in my house was picked out with mama close by. I literally look through my closet and think about how mama was with me when I bought this dress or that shirt. I buy something new and wonder if she would like it. You know mama's...they are bluntly honest - good or bad. =)

We would drive all the way to Hattiesburg, Meridian, or even Birmingham for shopping trips. We had so much fun! I remember one day while at work, I decided I REALLY wanted this pink pea coat we had seen at the mall, but they didn't have my size in Jackson. I called mama at work and we talked about it and on the spur of the moment decided to take a half day vaca and head to Meridian b/c they had my size at that mall. Crazy..I know, but we had so much fun. Ended up not buying the coat, but we had a good girls day anyways. One of my best memories.

Sort of like the day I woke up and decided I HATED the wedding dress I picked out. I immediately called mama at work and we both took half a day vaca (once again) on the spur of the moment to fix this problem and get me a dress ASAP that I would love. We had so much fun planning my wedding.

She absolutely LOVED her dogs (on earth and in Heaven)...she loved my dogs and Lisa's dog as her own (MiMi as she is called).

She looked forward to the future - becoming a MiMi to "human babies" She had already bought her future grandbabies a few things and put them away for "later." These small things are PRICELESS to us now.

I am the person I am today because of her. My morals, values, belief system, thoughts, ideas, my everything...it's all from within her. This is a comfort I carry with me...her blood is running through my veins. She is ALWAYS with me and FOREVER will be with me. She will be within Abby, my unborn niece, as well as my future babies - they will have an extra special guardian angel named "Mimi." And I'm making it my life's mission for them to know and love her as if she was still here on earth.

I could go on about her forever, but the lyrics to this song say it all. Any day with my mama was always "The Best Day."

"The Best Day"
By, Taylor Swift

I'm five years old
It's getting cold out
Got my big coat on ---> Lisa and I called our winter coats "big coat" and it always was a special treat to pick out the "big coat" for the season

I hear your laugh
And look up smilin at you
I run and run
Past the pumpkin patch
And the tractor rides
Look now, the sky is gold
I hug your legs
And fall asleep on the way home

I don't know why all the trees change in the fall
I know you're not scared of anything at all
Don't know if Snow White's house is near or far away
But I know I had the best day with you today

I'm 13 now
And don't know how My friends could be so mean
I come home crying
And you hold me tight
And grab the keys
And we drive and drive Until we found a town far enough away
And we talk and window shop Til i forgotten all their names--> I think I covered our shopping adventures. =)

I don't know who I'm gonna talk to now at school
I know I'm laughing On the car ride home with you
Don't know how long it's gonna take to feel okay
But I know I had the best day with you today

I have an excellent father
His strength is making me stronger
God smiles on my little brother
Inside and out He's better than nothin

I grew up in a pretty house
And I had space to run
And I had the best days with you

There is a video I found From back when I was three --> Our entire lives are caught on tape thanks to our Dad. =)

You set up a paint set in the kitchen And you're talkin to me --> We have pics of Lisa and I taking over the kitchen floor with everything Barbie (it was a fashion show complete with paper towel runways).

It's the edge of princesses and pirate ships
And the seven dwarves
My Daddy's smart
And you're the prettiest lady in the whole wide world

Now I know why the all the trees change in the fall
I know you were on my side Even when I was wrong
And I love you for giving me your eyes
Staying back and watching me shine
And I didn't know if you knew
So I'm talkin this chance to say I had the best day with you today

(Can't you just read my expression..."mama, do you like it?")