Another First

Today brought another first for us....our first Mother's Day without mama. I had been trying not to think about Mother's Day coming up too much. Don't get me wrong, I knew it was coming...there are TV commercials, billboards, and radio spots everywhere to remind me. Lisa asked me the other day if it seems like Mother's Day is getting more hype this year than usual....or, maybe it was just our hypersensitivity to it that made us take notice. Who knows. Either way, like all other holidays, I was hoping the day would somehow drop off the calendar. Seriously, I think I would've been totally fine not having ANY holidays this year.

But, like all the other holidays that have come since mama has been gone, we were forced to acknowledge it and find some way to get through the day. Thankfully, I am not alone in dealing with the day. My dad and Lisa were right there with me trying to get through it too.

Lisa and I went shopping for Abby at the V'burg baby outlet stores on Saturday - something mama would have been totally excited about. Today, we all decided to skip church (didn't want to hear about mothers) and ate lunch at Newk's. Then, we went to visit mama. Dad had already been to see her early this morning and put a little Mother's Day balloon out. Lisa and I brought her some flowers...her favorite, Gerber Daisy's.

We placed 4 Gerber's out - 1 for me, 1 for Lisa, 1 for Abby, and 1 for Baby Hobson. =) I bet she just loved them! Dad also got me and Lisa each a "mommy-to-be" card from "mimi and pawpaw," which was very emotional for all three of us. I guess we'll just have to deal with this every year - I don't know. It just REALLY sucks having these dang holidays!!

Here are a few pics I pulled out today while thinking about my mom. I miss her so much it hurts. I haven't had a breakdown in a while, but sure had a mini one today. It could've turned into an explosive one, but I held it inside. I'm sure I'll regret holding it in later. I just CANNOT BELIEVE this is my life now - I don't have a mom. It's such an empty feeling...like, I have a huge hole in my heart. I can't believe Lisa and I are pregnant at the SAME TIME and she isn't here to be excited about it. I literally will wake up some mornings and think, has this all been a nightmare? Nope, it's true.

On a happier note. I have the best hubby in the world! He cleaned the house, did the grocery shopping, folded the clothes, AND got me a gift certificate to Trio for a massage! It wasn't even the massage that was so sweet - it was how he wrote up the gift certificate. He's so excited to be a daddy. I love him so much! He'll be so great!