Anxious

Tomorrow I go to the doctor for my 18 week sonogram to check in on baby Hobson. We get to find out if we're having a boy or girl, but more importantly, we're going to get a glimpse at how our sweet baby is developing.  I have mixed emotions about tomorrow - nervous and scared, but at the same time, excited.  When I think about finding out what we're having, I get chills.  My whole life, I've always wondered if I'd have a boy or girl...tomorrow, I get an answer!  It's so crazy to think about it.  

It's times like this that I REALLY need mama to be here with me.  I went to see her today.  I go their to pray before my doctors appts.  I just feel so much closer to God when I'm there with her.  There is a little bench under a tree (she picked out her spot with us when she found out she was sick - she wanted a bench, so when we came to "talk to her," we could have a seat).  =)  You can also see 3 large crosses from her spot, so it's really perfect for a good God talk.  

I've looked up at those crosses so many times while visiting her - I almost feel like I am looking directly at God.  So many different emotions I feel when I look toward those crosses.    

My prayer today is that my baby is healthy - and, that mama can somehow be with me (in spirit) tomorrow.   She had this little angel pin that she would give Lisa and me anytime we were facing something big...a test, doctors appt., job interview, etc.  Just a little something to remind us she was thinking about us during our hard or scary times.  I brought it to her doctors appointments and also to Lisa's sonogram.  It's a little worn (used a lot obviously).  I'll def have it with me tomorrow.  =)