Our Saving Grace

Our sweet Abby Grace is finally here! I say "finally," but the time has really gone by so fast. We are fast approaching the 1 year anniversary of one of the absolute worse days of my life - July 3rd. This is the day mama told us she has cancer. She passed away 2 months and 11 days later.

Looking back to one year ago today, I cannot believe how much has changed in my life. Mama is gone, we have Abby, and I am expecting a baby girl. It's so insane to think about all that has happened in less than a year! It's a constant reminder of quickly things can change and that God is in total and complete control of our lives.

I call Abby Grace our "saving grace" because this sweet angel has literally saved our lives. I honestly don't know what we would've done without her. Lisa found out she was expecting her less than 2 months after mama left us. So, we have had something very exciting and positive to focus on instead of dwelling on mama's absence. Don't get me wrong, her absence is constantly with me - maybe even amplified with the presence of Abby and Baby Girl Hobson. But, in some ways, I feel like she is with me through these girls. Like, she has sent them to us.

Anyways...here are a few pics of our little "Saving Grace." She looks like her Daddy, but I see Lisa in her too - the nose and mouth and some of her little facial expressions. She is sooo sweet and I just love her to pieces.

Pearl bracelet from her "mimi."
It has her initials engraved on the front and "Love You, Mimi" engraved on the back.

Abby holding Mimi's Gerber Daisy - A sweet gift from my hubby, Michael. He gave Lisa and I both one of these little necklaces (talk about a tearful moment). Lisa and I have used the Gerber Daisy to remember mama during special occasions. We always sit one out during special events - Christmas, Thanksgiving, Baby Showers, etc. I made sure there were Gerber Daisies in the delivery room for Miss Abby. =) Just a little something to allow us to keep her memory with us during big times.

Abby's coming home outfit - same outfit Lisa and I came home in - Mama loved those "rose buds." It has a matching blanket and a little baby doll wearing a dress in the same fabric. We also have a few other dresses in this same fabric.

Smile big for Aunt Jenn...Actually, more like smile big for Mommy. Lisa literally talked her into smiling...she kept saying, "smile for Mommy," and she did!! Sweet girl. =)

Mommy and Abby exhausted after our photoshoot....

Happy Birthday Abby From Avery

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5 Years Ago Today...

5 years ago today...I married the sweetest guy in the world. I can't believe it's been 5 years already! Pretty soon, I'll be saying it's been 10 years, then 20!! The older I get, the faster time seems to fly by! It's scary! A lot has happened in 5 years. Not only have we grown closer and stronger as a couple, but Michael has seen me through some extremely dark days over the last year - days I knew were inevitable one day...I just didn't think we'd experience them so early in our marriage. But, I am seeing a bright future ahead of us - one filled with hope and happiness. First, with the birth of our niece, Abby, on Wednesday - she is such a blessing to our family. A much needed ray of light for us all. Then, our sweet baby girl is due to arrive sometime in early November. I can't even imagine the feeling we'll both have when we meet her for the first time. To think, something that is half me and half Michael...it seems so crazy when you really think about it. =)

I'm sure the next 5 years will be an amazing adventure - an adventure with lots of changes, ups and downs, fears, and love...but, most of all...love. One thing is for sure, I wouldn't want anyone else going through the unknown world of parenthood with me. He's an amazing husband and is destined to be an AMAZING daddy to his little girl.

Love you Michael!!

Love At First Sight

Abby Grace Luckey

June 17, 2009
11:09 am
8 lbs, 7 oz

21 1/4" long

It's Almost Time for Abby!

It's official...looks like Abby's birthday will be on June 17, 2009! Lisa is checking into the hospital tomorrow night for induction bright and early on Wednesday morning. We are all very excited as this is one very special little girl.

We had a great night together as a family. My mother-in-law made us some yummy pasta with brownies and strawberry shortcake for desert! Then, one of my best friends (who also happens to be my next door neighbor), Mandi, came over with her hubby and sweet girl, Anna Lauren. Mandi was giving Lisa some final words of wisdom before the big day - they have the same OBGYN. Although, I for one don't know how much a person can prepare for what's about to happen! Yikes!

Anyways - here's a quick clip of Miss Anna Lauren. If you ask her, Abby (or "Obby" as she calls her) is going to be born at 2:30. =)

IT'S A GIRL!!!!

I'm still in total shock and don't really fully believe it yet.  I mean, I still feel like it could be a boy!  Crazy, I know, but I just NEVER thought I'd have a girl!  Also, all my friends and family had me pegged for having a boy...mainly because of Michael - he is ALL BOY!  I had a boy nursery designed in my head and a boy name picked out.  I have no idea what I'm going to do for a girl - nursery or name!  All I know is that her middle name will be Elaine (the same as mine - Jennifer Elaine, mama's - Vivian Elaine, and my grandma's - Muriel Elaine).  Suggestions are welcome - Elaine is a hard name to match up.

I was so prepared to hear "it's a boy" today, but in the back of my mind I sort of imagined what it would sound like for her to say "girl" instead.  When I thought about hearing the words "girl," chills came over me.  Don't get me wrong, I would LOVE a boy someday - one that looks just like his daddy.  But, I REALLY wanted a girl deep down - at least with this first one. 

When I heard those words today, my heart melted and I just broke down.  I was crying like a baby on the table.  I looked at my sister and she was crying too.  We knew what it meant for us both to be having girls.   With Abby on the way and everything we've been thru...I wanted a little girl for sentimental reasons...she can share my mama's name, wear clothes I had worn as a little girl (picked out by mama), wear baby jewelry I had (picked out by mama), the list goes on and on, but all reasons point toward my mother.  Plus, I wanted to be able to experience the special mother-daughter bond that I shared with her.  

Which brings me to another point.  I am certain with everything in my soul that she had something to do with this!  Forget the fact that Lisa was not even trying for a baby right now (which, is a whole other story...I call Abby Grace our "saving Grace").  If mama was here and all was right with the world, I have no doubt I would be expecting a boy right now.  BUT, since she has some "connections" now upstairs, I am certain she worked some magic up there with God. She knows how hard it is going to be for Lisa and me to have these babies without her, so she had us go through this together - and wanted us both to have little girls (mainly, for the sentimental reasons I listed above).  

As far as the pregnancy itself, I've gained 3 lbs and have had no problems - really, the perfect pregnancy.  The only yuck thing is my belly button is TOTALLY going to pop out soon.  It is very tender and just plain hurts!  I posted a pick of my belly at 11 weeks and then one now (at 18 weeks).  Note the belly button slowly coming to the surface.  =)

Squished Girl

It's a Girl!

Hand - "Hi Mommy and Daddy!"

11 weeks prego

18 weeks prego

Anxious

Tomorrow I go to the doctor for my 18 week sonogram to check in on baby Hobson. We get to find out if we're having a boy or girl, but more importantly, we're going to get a glimpse at how our sweet baby is developing.  I have mixed emotions about tomorrow - nervous and scared, but at the same time, excited.  When I think about finding out what we're having, I get chills.  My whole life, I've always wondered if I'd have a boy or girl...tomorrow, I get an answer!  It's so crazy to think about it.  

It's times like this that I REALLY need mama to be here with me.  I went to see her today.  I go their to pray before my doctors appts.  I just feel so much closer to God when I'm there with her.  There is a little bench under a tree (she picked out her spot with us when she found out she was sick - she wanted a bench, so when we came to "talk to her," we could have a seat).  =)  You can also see 3 large crosses from her spot, so it's really perfect for a good God talk.  

I've looked up at those crosses so many times while visiting her - I almost feel like I am looking directly at God.  So many different emotions I feel when I look toward those crosses.    

My prayer today is that my baby is healthy - and, that mama can somehow be with me (in spirit) tomorrow.   She had this little angel pin that she would give Lisa and me anytime we were facing something big...a test, doctors appt., job interview, etc.  Just a little something to remind us she was thinking about us during our hard or scary times.  I brought it to her doctors appointments and also to Lisa's sonogram.  It's a little worn (used a lot obviously).  I'll def have it with me tomorrow.  =)